Newsworthy

Do-Gooders Anonymous discuss current events on Whatsapp...

Zeitgeist

Umbad, Chocolatini, Einosk and Divehammie cogitate on the defining spirit of this moment in history.

Do-Gooders Anonymous: SMK

Divehammie, International Man of Mystery, and The Penguin Lady from Oxford cogitate over the different choices one can make in life

Do-Gooders Anonymous: Michael Bolton

Featuring... Supernonsense and Mr. 80s Revival

Mr. 80s Revival sounds strangely like Lady Chatterley's Lover...

Nasty, brutish and whiny

Found in a drawer, gathering dust: a heretofore unpublished Do-Gooders Anonymous cartoon featuring The World According to Raymond...

My new career objective is to get wikileaked

New do-gooders anonymous cartoon! First one in years...

Do-Gooders Anonymous: Coffee & the Laws of Physics

So Chocolatini and Divehammie get into this deep and highly technical discussion about theories of motion and kinetics.

open house!

the return of prodigal books, dvds, et cetera is welcome. i want my stuff back.

Do Gooder's Anonymous: What Does a Hero Make?

Move over, Peter Petrelli and your wanker hairdo!








And Chocolatini goes on to say: Well, he has a magic lamp!

Do-Gooders Anonymous: Scene from a Cubicle

Dilbert wouldn't last five minutes at this fictitious organisation (that I fictionally doodle about). Say hello to the lovable kooks at Do-Gooders Anonymous, saving the world one email at a time!

Today's cartoon: Random Thoughts from Kapten Umbad on George Dubya

Dirge for the Departed

Vending machine.
Your cold glass slabs,
warm only in our memories
of the saccharine drinks you purveyed
to slake our thirst
and fetishes for
aspartame and carbonated fluid.

You are no more.
It took four men
to carry you out
while a funeral dirge
wailed
in our hearts.

i really want an ice cold can of green tea right now.

Tampontification

So until today, I'd never learned to use a tampon. First of all, I hardly ever get a period (which makes Gabby's birth even more mysterious). When I was in high school, it started at three-month intervals. In college, it became semestral. When I started working, it turned into an annual event. Finally, when I started working where I work now, I had one period in my first month here. Only. It's all stress-related, so you can imagine what my working life has been like in the past four years.

Then, all of a sudden, in Bohol, THE DAY BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO START MY WEEK-LONG DIVE TRIP, I got my period. And since I was too freaked out to dive with my period for the first time, I didn't dare use a tampon. It was a horrible horrible experience. Aaargh. Blech.

Now, today, I got my period again. I'm like, wow, two months in a row. I discovered it in the bathroom, as Anjeli and I were about to leave for lunch.

ME: (in the bathroom stall) Anjeli! I got my period!
ANJELI: Yay?
ME: SOS! Can you please check to see if anyone has a pad or tampon?
(pause... she returns with both)
ME: OK, the pad is way too big for my underwear. I'll have to use the tampon, and I've never used one before.

And then the most touching moment between two female friends unfolds.

ME: Will you... help me?
ANJELI: Are you twelve?

So, anyway, I'm behind the stall door again and she's coaching me from the sink.

ME: Do I sit down or stand up?
ANJELI: Well, you could do either but it's better if you stand up.
ME: Will it fall out?
ANJELI: Just make sure that the string is still out, you idiot.

So. That was the high point of my day.

If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.

Conversations with the Brain Dead

After a botched attempt at coming up with "Comeback Fantasies" as a sequel to my previous post (the only blog-worthy one was mine: looking at the crater where our building used to be), I've decided to faithfully transcribe stupid conversations that I've been a party to.


Umbad: Of course my life improved after I stopped sleeping with my teddy bear
***
Umbad: I hate pingpong. I can't stand balls being flung at my face.
***
Einosk: (joking about how the word "unagi" sets Umbad to laughing uncontrollably)
Umbad: Hey, if you keep making that joke, I’m really going to get de-sanitised about this whole thing
***
Then they start talking about Star Trek
Umbad: Personally, I’m really looking forward to the day when I can say, “Scottie beam me up..”
***
Umbad: It was a highly sophisticated joke, I'm just sorry that you don't get my sense of humor.
***
Umbad: Of course dogs are color-blind. It's not like they're going to be painters.
***
Einosk: Why are poverty statistics like 'half of humanity lives on 2 US dollars a day?'. Why don't they say 400,000 rupiah? Then it sounds like a lot......... I'm not sure if I got the conversion right.
***
Einosk: If the vet could treat him (office hamster) or perform surgery, we'd do it. But unfortunately, hamster science has not evolved to that stage.
***
Raymond: (For bulimics at the end of dinner) Let's just pay up, and throw up.


And that's intellectual exchange.

Quitting Fantasies

Me: Declaring to BF that I'm leaving and him not being able to change my mind.

Chocolatini: Being the ONLY one in charge of a major, politically important conference and quit a couple of days before the event.

Einosk: Going up to the Big Boss, handing him a pile of cash (a month's salary), and saying, "Here's your money. Go to hell."

Umbad: Just not showing up at the office one day.

Raymond: Leaving his resignation letter on the boss's desk the day he leaves for the summer and people only noticing a couple of months later (meanwhile, his salary keeps coming into his bank account).

Supernonsense: Getting into a fight and then getting called into BF's office. BF tells her, "you can't do that if you want to work here" and she's like "well i don't WANT to work here" (she then takes resignation letter out of cleavage and flings it at him)