Scariest Vampire (and Zombie!) Dream. Ever.

If you knew me well enough, you'd know that I have two types of recurring nightmares. Well, there are a few typical ones (coming to school unprepared for exams, getting caught half-naked in public) but of the absolute worst nightmarey variety, there are two types: (1) those that involve hamsters (hamsters that died years ago are still alive but i've neglected and not fed them all that time, too many hamsters to control and keep from fighting) and, (2) vampires (usually of them trying to get into the house and me trying to protect my parents and sisters).

The ONE time I had a vamp dream that wasn't scary, it was mixed with a school/exam dream. I was going to school at this amazingly beautiful old castle on top of a mountain (and when I say beautiful, think one of the elven sets in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies). It was a remarkably vivid dream, and as I was trudging through the cavernous school halls, I realized all the students were vampires.

Anyway! That was a couple of years ago. I wanted to talk about last night's dream. I was in the courtyard of what kind of looked like the Sorbonne, post-apocalypse. I was part of a motley crew of vampire fighters. Now before I go on, I need to specify that Buffy was NOT in this episode. Still, I wasn't the leader, I was just one of the followers. I didn't even know how to kill a vampire. It was still dusk but I suddenly realized that there were a couple of vampires among us and I shouted a warning. I couldn't understand how they were able to survive sunlight but they were definitely evil and had infiltrated our group. I scrambled around for a wooden stake or something and somebody handed me an arrow. I tried to pierce it in the heart but it didn't work--I only made a neat hole in its chest. Somebody handed me a knife and told me to decapitate it. I did that, but to my horror, it didn't turn into dust. I realized that I had killed a human by mistake.

There was no time to process what happened--night fell suddenly and we were attacked by vampires. A lot of them. We humans ran into the building. I went up a few flights of stairs and along corridors until I found a smaller group of people. We holed ourselves into one of the apartments. This is where it gets familiar. I kept trying to secure the perimeter and fumbled over the door locks. Anyway, even if the wood of the doors were good and thick, the locks were flimsy: just these slim metal hook locks that wouldn't keep little old ladies out much less creatures of the night. So I yelled at everyone to start barricading the doors and windows with furniture. The apartment itself was huge, with a lot of rooms and corridors. I started to push anything I could find against the place's many windows. There weren't enough hefty cabinets or tables, and there were too many vulnerable spots. Nobody seemed to be helping me effectively, everyone was in a mindless panic.

I realized that the rear of the apartment opened up to a rooftop terrace. I rushed to the door but I was a little too late. One vampire managed to claw its way inside. The people I was with finally seemed to wake up from their trance and we were able to keep the other ghouls at bay outside while holding down the vampire inside. I tried staking the vampire: first by puncturing its chest with a knife and second by shoving the handle of a hammer through. But I missed its heart. I found a knife and, with some trepidation, sliced its head off. To my relief, it turned into dust. In the struggle, I also realized that there were zombies outside too. And as I started to wake up, I thought with relief that, earlier, I hadn't killed a human after all. It must have been a zombie...

I shook off the dream and Gabby kissed me a good morning.


But you, Sheriff, can haunt my dreams anytime...