ambient noise vol 3

dakota | stereophoics
I turn my camera on | spoon
another devil dies | badly drawn boy
criminal | fiona apple
fall at your feet | crowded house
leaving so soon? | keane
to the end | blur
this charming man | the smiths
caring is creepy | the shins
i fought the law | green day
the importance of being idle | oasis
can’t stand me now | the libertines
is this love? | clap your hands, say yeah
golden | fall out boy
evil | Interpol
yeah is what we had | grandaddy
i predict a riot | kaiser chiefs


OPTION+COMMAND+5. Check out iTunes's album artwork flow view

Chiaroscuro: Disquiet and the Malconent

Chiaroscuro is a technique for painting and sketches that uses the contrast of light (chiaro) and darkness (oscura), with the falling of light on uneven surfaces or from a particular source. It heightens the drama, signifies depth and dimension, and could denote something sinister. This is my journal on Project Chiaroscuro, a production by Little Red Shop and the Substation, which will culminate in a performance of six original monologues at The Substation on 12-15 July. Each performance will be inspired by one of six selected books.

The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pesoa

First, let me admit that I still haven't finished reading it. Not because it's boring but because it's totally absorbing. I think I need to simply take a day off and finish the damn thing. It's been a while since I've had to read a book line by line, and life is full of distractions.

From what I've read so far, the Book of Disquiet isn't plot or character-driven; yet one can't compare it to stream-of-consciousness type works as Virginia Woolf or getting into the mind of the protagonist like Dostoyevski (I'm referencing Crime and Punishment here, at least). What comes to mind is prose by Albert Camus, who used his fiction to explore his ideas about life and existence.

The book is essentially the journal of a book-keeper/accountant named Bernardo Soares, whose life is largely circumscribed by his neighborhood--even his street--in Lisbon. Overtly, he spends his days without change and without incident: he goes to work, eats at the same restaurant, cuts his hair at the same barber's, and so on. He is a non-descript, quiet man, who doesn't make any ripples around him and walks through life as if he is unmindful of what happens around him.

Overtly.

His inner life is full of tumult, richness and expanse. Although he has never been far from home, Soares cogitates over life and existence from his own love of Portuguese and other literature. He pores over the minutiae of his own life and his impressions of his surroundings and the people around him. The people around him have no clue of how much they affect him. He writes about the meaning of existence and life, religion, even sex and love; but from the vantage of a limited scope of experience. And all this happens behind his eyes, behind the veneer of the constant, consistent and unassuming book-keeper, who somehow has the ability to do two things in parallel: enter the credits and debits of his mundane irreducibly material existence while living, in his mind, within a maelstrom of ideas and ontological questions that do not cease.

Here are some quotes to illustrate:
"One must monotonize existence in order to rid it of monotony. One must make the everyday so anodyne that the slightest incident proves entertaining."

"I'm nobody, nobody. I don't know how to feel or think or love... I'm always thinking, always feeling, but my thoughts lack all reason, my emotions all feeling. I'm falling through a trapdoor, through infinite, infinitous space, in a directionless, empty fall."

"Because I am nothing, I can imagine myself to be anything."

Part of what makes the book remarkable is also its author. Fernando Pessoa is a Portuguese poet and this book is his only major work in prose. Moreover, the book was found (and published) post-humously from papers among his possessions. He started the book in 1912 and wrote, on and off, until his death in 1935.

This presents an occasional idiosycracy in the book, or perhaps it's just that the nature of one's thoughts and attitudes change over time: sometimes he comes across as religious; others, atheist. Sometimes, he is intellectually arrogant; others, he is exceedingly self-deprecating.

As a writer, Pessoa was also noteworthy for the his use of "heteronyms" (as opposed to pseudonyms), where he explored the philosophy and thoughts of other individuals--writing as them--with outlooks and styles different from his. Bernardo Soares in the Book of Disquiet, however, is seen to be a vehicle for Pessoa's own thoughts and life.

In terms of dramatizing the text, I was thinking of developing a character who is translating the text from Portuguese into English, thus grappling with the ideas presented, Pessoa's life himself, and how this relates to the character's life. I'd be interested in reading the translation by Margaret Jull Costa (the one I'm reading is by Maria Jose de Lancastre), who is considered to have written the best translation of the book into English, and fictionalize on her experience. Perhaps the character's life is in disarray, and she takes refuge in Pessoa's world of ideas--by disagreeing with him, but also finding that some of what he writes resonates in her like truth.


thanks go to sunita, for providing perspective.

red hot chili party

a merry 30th birthday to me, to me
a merry 30th birthday to me, to me
it's great to drink to someone,
and i guess that's me, whoopee
a merry 30th birthday to me

statistics prove that you've one life,
one birth day, once a year;
the little deaths, all other days,
are also cause for cheer
so

a merry 30th birthday to me, to me
a merry 30th birthday to me, to me
let's all just drink the night away
be happy as can be

a merry 30th birthday
a merry 30th birthday
a merry 30th birthday
to me!


i'm gonna get me soooo wasted...

ambient noise volume 2

last nite | the strokes, is this it?
cause=time | broken social scene, you forgot it in people
this is how it goes | aimee man, BTVS radio sunnydale
like a stone | audioslave, audioslave
thinking about you | radiohead, pablo honey
rudie can’t fail | the clash, london calling
garden grove | sublime, sublime
lithium | nirvana, nevermind
crazy | gnarls barkley, st. elsewhere
all is full of love | death cab for cutie, the photo album
everybody got their something | nikka costa, BTVS radio sunnydale
sunshine and clouds (and everything proud) | clap your hands, say yeah, clap your hands, say yeah
everyday i love you less and less | kaiser chiefs, employment
hard to concentrate | red hot chilli peppers, stadium arcadium
little wing | jimi hendrix, experience hendrix
road to ruin | the libertines, the libertines
cheated hearts | yeah yeah yeahs, show your bones

i'm pretty happy with this CD and the process of putting the songs together was less torturous--probably because i was buoyed by alvin's enthusiasm (by alvin standards) over the first one. so i was at public house last night and this was played (when i came in, alvin was like "i knew you'd bring a new CD!"). it was fun, sunita, saad and i were enjoying the music and talking about beloved TV shows (and singing the theme music!) BUT the CD started skipping by the time the kaiser chiefs were on and had to be stopped. argh. technical difficulties. alvin, get a frakking iBook!

just a couple of notes on the music. "hard to concentrate" is one of the coolest songs for a wedding (lyrics here).

"all is full of love" is a cover of the bjork song by death cab for cutie. (thanks go to qiuyi for this)

sunshine and clouds is a one-minute instrumental interlude, which i thought was a charming notion.

two songs have been played on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "this is how it goes" (season 7, with aimee mann doing a cameo and saying "i'm sick of playing at vampire towns") and "everybody got their something" (season 2 or 3, methinks, with Buffy, Xander and Willow dancing to it in the Sunnydale High library...).


me desktop. check it.

The skin of the world, peeled

The skin of the world, peeled:
here is reality behind that which is beheld.
We think, therefore it is.

Distance is a measure of words,
weight is the dichotomy of being and nothingness,
and time is counted out in cigarettes and cups of coffee.

Meaning and absurdity are sisters,
born of sentience and civilization,
destined to die as us, live as us.

Thoughts are faster than action,
travel farther than light, sound and stone.
Flesh is a clumsy container for infinity.

Why then, is it, that
the body remembers
what the mind forgets?

Singapore, 17 March 2007


The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its former dimensions. I read that on a bookmark once.

Ambient Noise for Public House, or Early Steps to a DJ Career

This is the CD I cut for Public House, the bar that Natalia and I (and other miscellaneous friends) frequent. Credit for Virgin State of Mind, Belong and Days Go By, as well as over-all criticism in the process of putting the songs together, goes to Natalia.

Everything's Just Wonderful
Artist: Lily Allen
Album: Alright, Still

Starlight
Artist: Muse
Album: Black Holes & Revelations

Virgin State of Mind
Artist: K's Choice
Album: Music from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Zephyr Song
Artist: Red Hot Chili Pepers
Album: By The Way

Drive
Artist: Incubus
Album: Make Yourself

Days Go By (Acoustic)
Artist: Dirty Vegas
Album: The Best Acoustic Album in the World (I shit you not)

Dani California
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Album: Stadium Arcadium

There is a Light that Never Goes Out
Artist: Morissey
Album: Redondo Beach

Pursuit of Happiness
Artist: Nuno
Album: Schizophonic

Belong
Artist: R.E.M.
Album: Out of Time

Eleanor Put Your Boots On
Artist: Franz Ferdinand
Album: You Could Have it So Much Better

Yellow Sun
Artist: The Raconteurs
Album: Broken Boy Soldiers

Bohemian Like You
Artist: Dandy Warhols
Album: Radio Sunnydale

Shiver (Acoustic)
Artist: Coldplay
Album: Trouble (B sides)

Angel
Artist: Dave Matthews Band
Album: Everyday

My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters
Album: Skin and Bones


CD Cover Artwork by sdri 10 March 2007