Another Flashback: Censored Words of Wisdom

advice i would give myself at eighteen
Tuesday, July 09, 2002

1. there IS such a thing as true love
2.don't be afraid of sex. have as much of it as you can, with as many different partners, this year.
3. living together is not a sin.
4. never have sex without a condom. even if you don't have to fear getting pregnant. hormones will make you fat and stuffing anything up down there will never cease to feel awful.
5. while having sex with as many partners possible this year, try to educate them about wearing condoms. too goddamn many of them fathering unplanned children. think of it as a public service.
6. no, you will not never grow fat. you are not too thin so stop trying to get in the habit of eating more.
7. it is ok to be jealous.
8. if and when you get married, never ever live with your in-laws no matter how broke you are or how nice they seem. if you can't live on your own, don't get married. if you need help from others, set a clear timeframe on up to when.

here's something funny: go to merriam webster online. type any word (real ones only) in the field for "dictionary". click on the "pronounce" icon. hehehehe. five minutes ago, i was typing stuff like "vagina" and "penis" and chortling to myself. i have the mental age of a twelve year old.